Can you hear me?
I need you to help heal me.
To heal the black spots on my heart.
I need to love the way I use to…the way I feel I can.
I can’t be completely me…be completely free.
Nothing has felt the same since
You have been gone. 
I feel an emptiness that I just can’t shake.
Every moment feels like I’m under water.
Just barely able to come to the surface
and feel the touch of the ones who claim
to love me. 
My soul was bitten the day you left.
In the wound remains a darkened part of me.
A shadow figure that plays such torment on my life.
Will you help me be me again?
If you can hear me, if your soul feels your dear sister,
please give me the strength to be who I am suppose to
become.

To live.
To be free.
To be me…

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Dear Brother, I can’t see you through the fog. This blanket of darkness you built around you. Who have you become? This man I do not recognize, do you really want to follow the same path?
You need to stop blaming yourself and set yourself free from the turmoil. Live the life you are suppose to have. You can be so much more if you just let go of the what ifs. We could be so much more if we just let go of all these dark thoughts. No one can change the past but we can control our future. Do not leave me like he did. I could not bare to be without you as well. I would be so alone without you dear brother. Let go of the bullshit and we will be free.
Free to live.
Free to love.
Free to become who we are suppose to become. 

I wrote this, what I felt at least, was a great post about my brothers. I hit the publish button and it didn’t freakin’ publish. I don’t know if I can write all that again. Dammit…

My soul is aching. I am hyper aware of the distance between our hearts. Beating in unison but so far apart. Wishing we could merge and never be apart again.
Blissful white is the theme of my dreams. Waiting…begging for the day when infinity is our name. Swim in the love we have forever and soon after see our love blossom with new life.